How to get rid of the life of internal friction and use energy in the right place

01 What kind of experience is it to live very tired every day? This answer can be answered directly by the status of my friend Bella. Opening her circle of friends, without exception, they are complaining. “I’m really tired, I don’t know what I’m doing every day…” “Today I worked overtime until 11 o’clock, and I feel that one day I will really die suddenly…” “Tomorrow is the deadline, but my business is not finished yet…” In fact, her work intensity is not high, she only needs to analyze the report every day. Due to her low efficiency, she can only work overtime. Compared with my colleague Ada, who makes plans every week, the intensity of traveling for most of a month is really insignificant. At the weekend party, it should be a time to relax, and Bella is still thinking about the unfinished work. Seeing Ada, a relaxed colleague after finishing work, she envied her. After finishing the report, she wanted to leave early, but she was entangled again, so she left early. Will everyone think that I am uncomfortable and too selfish? After hesitating for a long time, I still didn’t have the courage to say that I was leaving, and I lost the interest in communicating with friends during the party. After returning home, she reflected on herself and found that today’s work was not completed, and the party was cold, which made everyone happy. She felt that she was so useless and could not do anything well. Then, in the cranky thinking, it was more than 2 o’clock before he fell asleep in a daze. The next day he went to work with dark circles under his eyes. The work efficiency still couldn’t be improved, and he fell into another vicious circle. Bella’s work intensity is not as high as that of Ada. Why is it that Ada is always full of energy, but Bella is always exhausted? Is it because she is not strong enough and too fragile? In fact, the main reason is that her personality traits are too prone to internal friction. There is no clear goal and plan at work, sensitive and entangled personality, and often self-blame for not doing well. As a result, the psychological energy is not exerted through the outside, but is consumed internally, and is unable to cope with the work tasks and interpersonal relationships she faces. 02 Less internal friction, you will live easier Have you had a similar experience: Colleagues can easily cope with the same job, but you need a lot of time and energy to do it. Others are always full of energy to work, but you always can’t lift the energy. A friend or colleague’s unintentional sentence will be remembered in your heart. At night, you are always thinking about what it means, whether you have offended them, or even think of insomnia. Getting more and more home, afraid to attend parties with strangers, communicating with strangers or unfamiliar friends always makes you feel uncomfortable. In many cases, I have not done anything and feel tired, so I didn’t do anything well. Afterwards, I often reflect on myself and feel that I am a failure. Often fall into the cycle of procrastination-self-blame-procrastination. Such people are prone to internal friction. They desire to pursue a perfect state through self-control, or to maximize their interests, which leads to excessive self-tugging in work and interpersonal interactions, which ultimately leads to serious loss of inner resources and energy, and physical and mental loss. exhausted. Not everyone’s internal friction will affect work and life. Although some people also have internal friction and are engaged in high-intensity work, they are still full of energy; while others work easily but are physically and mentally exhausted. This is because the energy consumed by such people can be replenished in time and adequately. Therefore, they can easily cope with busy work and complicated interpersonal relationships, while exhausted people cannot find a source of energy to replenish them. If you can’t improve your work efficiency and interpersonal communication has become a burden, it’s better to see if you belong to the category of people who are prone to “tired” and lack energy.